Back again. I had a busy week and a lot of work. On top of that the 9 hour time shift between Switzerland and Vancouver doesn’t really help for a lot of recovery. Finally, I had to get over the loss of the German hockey team against the Canadians – 8:2, what the hell happened?
Here is what happened, or so I have been told, since I didn’t watch the game myself at 1:30 in the morning.
The stunning defeat started to take shape when apparently the GPS in the German team bus failed, which caused my poor team to not make it to the game on time. These being Olympic games, the rules state clearly that there is no forfeiting an event or a game. Thus Team Canada had the ice for themselves for the first 2 1/2 periods of the game. When the German team finally arrived on the ice, there were 10 minutes left to be played in the third period, by which time the Canadian hockey team had scored a whopping 8 goals without the opponent being present. Still Team Canada was able to rack up in incredible 88 penalty minutes and miss one penalty shot in these first 50 minutes. Due to the penalty minute count, Team Canada had to pull the goalie twice, since there were only two players on the ice left. Once the German team was on the ice with those short 10 minutes left in the game, they quickly started scoring their two goals for the final standing of 8:2. A painful but indisputable loss, so Congratulations Canada!
Now if we go through the purely academic exercise of extrapolating the two goals the German team scored in only 10 minutes, we can easily determine, that had the game been played with both teams on the ice at game time, the German team would have scored 12 goals for a final of 12:8. Of course this assumes, that Canada would have scored 8 goal against an opponent that was actually on the ice – highly unlikely, don’t you think?. I am asking all Team Canada fans to please consider this little factoid objectively as they stumble on through more victories towards a podium place. Also why can’t the podium be higher so the first eleven teams can get a medal….may be the eleventh team could get a cookie medal and an At-A-Boy from the administrative assistant of the Zamboni driver, instead of the president of the IIHF, just a thought.
In other news, I have started a career in speech writing for public figures such as anybody having to explain defeat, philandering celebrities caught cheating, CEOs that have to explain their compensation packages while they managed to achieve more than 43% of all corporate goals, and of course politicians having to explain any question that goes beyond a simple, yet inquisitive “How are you?”. If you are interested or simply in desperate need in these services, please do not hesitate to leave a comment with your contact information. I will get back to you asap.
Yours Markus \m/