German Restaurants Abroad


I know, you are waiting for the Himalaya Photographic Summary. I have done it in the past on bigger trips. But I am still processing images. So bear with me a little. To pass the time, I have a few small observations on German restaurants abroad – outside of Germany. They paint a picture of Germany, that even I am too young to remember.
– The most current music in the vast majority of German restaurants abroad is from the mid seventies….OK, 1970’s. Why? – I don’t know. This is an embarrassment. We do not sit in our Schaukelstuhl (Rocking Chair) listening to the Les Humphrey Singers, Rex Gildo or Marianne Rosenberg. Now, to be truthful, it’s not Rammstein day in and day out either, but the portrait that German restaurants abroad paint in that respect of Germany is excessively homely, old-fashioned, flat out a lie.
– The way we Germans dress is not by wearing Lederhosen (dudes) and dirndls (chicks). Every German restaurant I have even walked by perpetuates this stereotype. Poor Thai staff, Chinese Staff, Indian staff, Nepali staff having to wear this stuff, just to look the part….you cannot be serious! I work with people from Bavaria, the state that claims to represent Germany most truthful abroad and they have never shown up in Lederhosen or dirndls. heck, they haven’t even broken out in song spontaneously. Germany is a place of high industry, not an permanent re-enactment of the “Sound Of Music” where everyone is a second cousin once removed of the Von Trapp family. This is a myth. It’s like saying all Americans are Cowboys or all Chinese live the Kung Fu way and Afghani children come out of their mom’s womb firing a Kalashnikov in joy screaming “lalalalalalalalalala”. Not true! Not true at all!
– Table decorations, we are aware of the fact that flowers are a natural product and pretty much perfectly renewable. They are NOT made from plastic. We know that. I cannot comprehend, why the proprietors of German restaurants abroad, then think to recreate “ze ozentig feeling, we must use plastic flower arrangements, zat are so old, sat ze color has faded a long time ago”. That does not make any sense. Germany an no 2014, does not look like East Germany anno 1985 which was an excercise in shades of gray, and not the exciting shades of gray, believe you me.
– Finally, pictures on the walls. Where do you buy copied paintings of roaring stags in a forest, near a river or waterfall. This is my personal killer. Germans have excellent taste. See the prints of roaring stag paintings wee popular after the war, maybe during the “Wirtschaftswunder” a time that is best compared to the good ole’ days of “Leave It To Beaver”. The same thing with prints of paintings of a middle aged woman with a hat on that features tennis ball sized red pompoms on it. This is a traditional Black Forest hat, that most ladies these days in that region wear maybe once a year at a moonless night.

So, there I got this off my chest. Proprietors abroad, please join the rest of Germany in 2014. The war is over, so is the 1954 Wirtschaftswunder and we have just won the World Cup for a fourth time – oh the things you have missed while living in your time capsule.

Thank you and you too (German restaurant proprietors abroad) should join my readership and me in our daily quest to stay sharp.

Und Tschüss (traditional farewell phrase anno 1992, doh’!)

Markus \m/

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1 thought on “German Restaurants Abroad

  1. Like every American themed restaurant has girls in poodle skirts and the guys dressing like Elvis.

    GN2K: that is obvious to the even most casual observer

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